Up From The Abyss
by Empathetic Army Brat
Summary: The story of what Mitarai went through before, during, and after Chapter Black. Mitarai's P.O.V. rated T just to be safe.


**Disclaimer**

**I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of the Yu Yu Hakusho characters. **

**However, Haruka and Sasha are mine.**

* * *

{Prologue}

Life is an abyss. It's cold, lonely, and incredibly dark. It's filled with decievers promising light, but all that is awaiting those that dare to venture to close is a hungry creature ready to attack. That's how life is. How my life is.

* * *

I was sitting there in the café when I felt a sudden chill. That's strange, I thought as I looked over to where Haruka's letter was sitting at the end of the table. The employee that had delivered it was terrified, so I can only imagine what Haruka must have said to him. I wonder why she would even bother sending a note anyway. I hope she's ok.

* * *

{Flashback of the First Meeting}

"Ah welcome. I'm glad all of you could make it," Mr. Sensui greeted the others as they entered the cave.

He quickly introduced Amanuma, Hagiri, Mr. Makihara, and reintroduced Dr. Kamiya. Amanuma decided to take it in his own hands to announce Haruka as "the girl that will bite your head off." Haruka, who had looked annoyed when entering the cave, shot a glare that probably would have stopped any of the bullies at my school in their tracks. I had even seen Dr. Kamiya flinch. I guess that's why it was more of a surprise when Haruka had volunteered to help me out of the cave.

* * *

There was emotions that Haruka seemed to always have and never tried to hide. Anger, annoyance, frustration. But…

* * *

{Flashback of the Cliff}

Haruka and I were on the cliff late last night after the meeting with the others. I looked up at her after sitting down while she was gazing at the moon. There was something interesting about how the moon seemed to fit perfectly in her dark brown eyes. Like it was meant to be there.

She looked more peaceful then I had ever seen her. At least until we started talking.

"Did you ever commit any of those crimes? Did you ever murder another human or even another creature without a second thought? Have you ever gotten your pleasure from others suffering? Do you think I ever did?"

"Mitarai, there are people out there like that but…what about the rest of us? What about you and me? What about the new mother holding her baby gently in her arms for the first time with joyful tears in her eyes? What about the father by her bedside praying that his child will grow up happy and strong? What did they do to deserve this?"

* * *

When she looked at me, there was an underlying pain that had made itself known. Almost like she had been stabbed in the heart. I couldn't understand what could make her feel that way.

Ever since I've known her, Haruka had been a mystery to all of the psychics. Mr. Sensui even seemed to have trouble understanding her.

She had a lot of little quirks and moods like how she was always tense and acted colder around the others. Whenever someone mentions Mr. Sensui she had a look of resentment.

Then there was what the others said about her the first day that I was brought to the cave, and how she contradicted everyone of them. They told me of how she never helps anyone, but Haruka is always at the enterence to the cave to help me through it. Hagiri had mentioned that she would never hesitate to tell them, even Mr. Sensui, her opinion of how worthless they are. It surprised me when she didn't do the same to me.

* * *

{Walking Through the Tunnels}

I had a really bad day at school which left me feeling more down then usual. Mr. Sensui and the others hadn't said anything, so I thought that it wasn't showing until Haruka and I were alone in the tunnels again.

"Ok what's wrong?" Haruka asked, sounding slightly annoyed.

"Nothing." I didn't want to tell her. I've heard that I was worthless a million times in a million different ways by my so called "peers" and random thugs on the street. I didn't need to hear it here too.

"I know you had a nice talk with the others about how stubborn I can be if I want something," she replied, clearly threatening that sooner or later she will find out.

I sighed, knowing that it was inevitable. "I'm just having some problems in school."

Haruka seemed to consider that for a moment. "Bullies picking on you." I waited for the disgust in her voice, but it never came. I risked a glance at her, searching for some sign of what the others had said, only to find her watching understandingly back.

I hesitantly nodded. "I wish I knew why."

"I think most people like that need to feel empowered over something or someone to feel like they belong on the top of the food chain. What better target then someone who won't fight back?"

"I'm not very strong, and a lot of them are bigger then I am." The thought of trying to win a fist fight against any of them sent chills down my spine. I knew exactly who would win.

Haruka sighed, both annoyed and frustrated. "I didn't mean for you to fight them."

"But, you just said that I should fight them," I said, confused.

She shook her head. "No, I said you should fight back not fight them. Fighting them would require skills that you obviously don't have. Fighting back just requires for you to have enough courage to let them know that they can't get to you anymore." Haruka looked over to me with wandering eyes, searching for something.

After a moment she turned back to look ahead as we turned into another connecting tunnel and blew out a breath before continuing in a softer voice. "I know it's scary when you think about it. It can be terrifying to stand up to people who are a lot bigger then you, and even scarier if you have to do it alone. But, sometimes when you stand up to them you start to gain more and more people you can turn to, more people that you can trust to help you and offer support. You just have to have courage to take that first step."

"Courage that I don't have," I mumbled.

"No, you have courage," she disagreed.

"Yeah right. Then why am I afraid of them?"

"Because you are afraid of them. Courage is doing what you have to even if you are scared."

I looked over at Haruka curiously, wondering if Amanuma and Hagiri were just exaggerating when they were talking about her. She seemed more understanding then anyone I have ever met.

She turned toward me, noticing that I was to preoccupied to say anything else. "Mitarai?"

I shook my head to get back into focus. "Sorry I was just thinking of what the others said about…" I cut myself off there. I shouldn't have said that. How would you break it to someone that their own teammates thinks that they're worse then a demon?

To my surprise, Haruka half smiled and rolled her eyes. "Go ahead and say it. It's not like I've never been called names before. I think Amanuma's favorite nickname for me is demon." She shrugged as if someone had said that her outfit didn't match rather then someone called her a demon. Out of all the things she's annoyed by this isn't one of them, I thought in wonder. I'm never going to understand her. "So what made you think of what the others said?"

"I thought you would call me worthless," I admitted.

"Why would I call you worthless?" Haruka asked, looking at me like she couldn't understand the concept of how someone could call me that.

"Because I'm weak," I murmured. I didn't like saying it out loud even if it was obvious.

"The ability to effectively pummel someone into the dirt isn't my guideline for worthiness, and just because you can't overpower someone doesn't mean your weak."

"So you think I'm strong?" I asked, still unsure what any of her cryptic remarks mean. But, after almost two weeks of her talking that way, I should be used to it by now.

"I think you have the potential to be. You just need to make the choice for yourself if your going to be."

Unfortunately, we reached the end of the tunnels by then so Haruka never elaborated on what she meant. Something told me that she wouldn't though. Even in the short time that I knew her, I began to be able to tell when she'll reveal the meaning of her riddles and when she's going to make me figure it out for myself. The sad thing is that I have a whole list of them and can't figure out anything.

* * *

I was pulled out of my thoughts with a light tap on my shoulder. Looking up, I found Mr. Sensui staring down at me instead of Haruka like I was expecting.

"Oh, hello. What brings you here, Mr. Sensui?" I asked while trying to figure out his odd expression. He seemed upset, but there was a emotion that I couldn't get a grasp on.

"Mitarai, may I see you outside for a moment?" he asked quietly. I nodded and started to follow Mr. Sensui out the glass doors before I turned back around to quickly grab Haruka's letter and put it into my pocket.

He was turning into an ally when I caught up with him again and spun around when we were about halfway through with the same odd expression from before. "Mr. Sensui, is something wrong?" I asked, unsure of what that expression meant.

"It's about Haruka," he started, but cut himself off when two boys kicking a soccer ball ran past the ally.

"She should be here in a couple of minutes if you wanted to talk to her," I offered.

His frown deepened as he answered, "I'm sorry, but Haruka won't be coming, Mitarai."

"Why?" Is that what the note was for? I probably should have read that, but why is Mr. Sensui here if she did expect me to read it?

"I'm sorry about this, Mitarai," he apologized again. "I know how close you two were, but it seems that she had an encounter with some thugs this morning and she didn't fare to well. I talked with the paramedics and they said that it's unlikely that she'll make it to the hospital. I got a glimpse at her when they were getting her in the ambulance and she had severe burn marks on the back of both legs, probably from some kind of chemical. It looked like she couldn't even put up a struggle against whoever did that to her."

I stared in shock, not knowing what to say. There wasn't even anything I could say as his words replayed in my mind. I hung my head, trying to calm myself enough to speak, but it still ended up being almost unintelligible to even me. "Thank you for telling me. If you don't mind, I'm going to go home now."

"Of course, Mitarai," Sensui nodded as I turned back to the main square and waded through the crowds that were going to the local shops and restaurants.

I eventually made it to the stone sidewalk that lead to my front door and absentmindedly reached into my pocket for the spare key. My mom's sedan wasn't in the driveway so I expected to be alone as my dad won't be home till midnight. Though, as luck would have it (and mine was usually bad) my sister was in the living room.

It's not like I minded my sister as company, but she was always the most observant. She's the only one that noticed that something has been up for the past couple of weeks. Even though I knew it was a lost cause, I tried to sneak past the living room door to get to the staircase that would lead up to the small hallway to my bedroom.

"Kiyoshi?" Maya called when the stair creaked.

"Yeah?" I called back.

"Don't you want to watch T.V. with me?"

"No, I have something to do so I'm going to go back to my room." I was always a bad liar, and I knew that Maya had picked up on it when I heard the cushions on the couch shift when the pressure was removed.

I only have two options at this point. One, try to quickly get to my room and have my sister know that there's something wrong. Two, stay here and have her see that there's something wrong. I didn't like either conclusion, but decided on the latter.

Maya stopped as she came around the corner to see me with her blue eyes showing the worry that I knew was coming.

Aside from being observant, she was always beautiful. Just ask anybody from her school. She had shoulder length, jet-black hair and bright blue eyes. She's intelligent to, never coming home with a grade lower then an A. Maya has been excepted into Harvard University in America once she finishes the rest of her senior year. I've always been jealous of her, she's one of the most popular girls while I'm stuck as the punching bag.

"Kiyoshi, are you ok?" Maya asked, though I was sure she knew the answer already.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied, trying to downplay it so I could retreat to my room. All I wanted to do was lay in my bed and try to get Sensui's words out of my head. Though I knew that I would have to deal with it in a day or two when I go to Demon's Door and Haruka isn't there at the entrance.

Maya sighed and leaned a little in to look me in the eyes with a serious expression that would let anybody know that she isn't fooling around. "Kiyoshi, you can deny that there isn't something wrong all you want, but that won't make me worry less about you. You've been acting strange for the past month and I want to know what's going on. Are the kids at school doing anything else that's upsetting you this much?"

"No, they're not doing anything else." Sure she thinks that nothing else includes physical bullying. Maya doesn't exactly no about that even though it started in the fifth grade. I rarely came home with bruising or scratches, and when I did they can easily be explained (to my parents, Maya pays enough attention to me to know when I'm lying) or covered up with longer clothes.

"Did anything happen at school?"

"No," I replied, just now realizing how much I complain about school.

"Kiyoshi…"

"Maya, I just can't talk about it right now," I said before she could finish. "I'm going back up to my room." I spun on my heel and climbed the stairs before Maya could get another word in. I felt kind of bad for leaving her like that, especially since I've never done that before, but I wasn't lying when I told her that I couldn't talk about it right now. I probably never will be able to.

I just can't bring myself to believe that Haruka was killed just like that. From what I've seen she's intelligent and strong, but maybe it was the gang's number that got her. Either way it's just one more evidence of human's destructive nature.

* * *

{Dream}

When I opened my eyes I found myself in the halls of someone else's house. It was an off white color, almost a yellow, with a large, single picture frame in the middle of it with a small table and a bouquet of white daisies underneath it.

I felt a slight fear when I looked at the family in the portrait. It was the family that was in the last story of the Chapter Black, and from what Mr. Sensui said it was the most recent, though he didn't know the exact time. I was in one of those nightmares again.

I jumped at the sudden scream that came down the hall from the direction that smoke was coming from now. Being unable to stop myself, I ran toward the scream to a wooden door that was soaked on the bottom along with the carpet underneath it. I quickly turned the knob and rushed inside only to stop suddenly with the scene before me.

I had expected the burning bodies of the mother and little girl or the laughing man that killed his only family because he didn't get what he wanted. Instead it was Haruka looking out the shattered window at the moon, seeming oblivious to the flames that made a perfect, wide arch around her. In the reflection of a cracked mirror beside her I could see that she had the same look that she had on the cliffs. One of pain like she'd been stabbed in the heart, but it was mixed in with a strange longing and guilt.

Haruka had finally turned toward me after a couple of minutes and I was surprised at the necklace she had. It was the same one that Diana had worn on the tape. The necklace was a short gold chain and fastened to it was a circle of diamonds. In the center of the diamonds was an angel with the tips of its wings and feet attached to the circle.

"Haruka, are you ok?" She nodded her head once. "Why are you here?" I asked. I knew exactly why I was here, but none of the other psychics have been in my dreams before. It was always just me and the victims.

"Just thinking," Haruka answered plainly. "Hey, Mitarai. Have you thought about what life means to you?"

"What?" Great she doesn't even make sense in my own dreams.

"You told me what your life seems to you, but have you thought about what it means to you? The abyss is the coldest, darkest place in the oceans. But, is all that's down there only predators?"

"What else would be down there?"

"If you don't know then why don't you look?"

"There's no light at the bottom of the ocean," I reminded her. "I wouldn't be able to see anything."

"It's like a deep forest at night. When you're all alone in the dark, hearing the noises of the creatures at night, it can be scary when you think of what could be out there. Though, if you would just look around, you might find the most beautiful sight that you've ever seen before. Yes, you might trip and fall, or find a less friendly occupant. Everyone stumbles at some point in their lifetime, and anyone who says they haven't is lying through their teeth. Just remember to look around you when you do fall. There might be someone there waiting to help you back up."

* * *

There was a sudden loud buzzing noise before Haruka and the flames were replaced by my own room and an alarm saying that it was eight o'clock. I sat up and stretched my arms and legs, hoping to wake myself up more. What was with that dream? I couldn't shake off the sensation that it was more then that. Like there was something that was obvious, but it was concealed in thick shadows. An exact echo of Haruka herself.

* * *

**Author's Note**

**I just wanted to clear something up with this chapter. "_I even seen Dr. Kamiya flinch." _No, Kamiya isn't afraid of Haruka, but he is well aware that she has very little tolerance for them and doesn't want to deal with it. The only one who has even the slightest fear of her would be Amanuma since, like Mitarai, he's been bullied before and knows that Haruka could very easily overpower him. Though, it has never stopped him from teasing her.**

**If you have any questions go ahead and ask. **

**Please review. Constructive criticism is welcome, but no flames.**


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